Girl Talk: Maggie from Indianapolis sounds off on the bridal shower from hell

Tags: single, married, family pressure

Maggie from Indianpolis writes:

I recently attended my younger sister's bridal shower, and I knew before I went that I wasn't looking forward to potential questions about my love life. Well, the shower was mostly his family. So my grandparents had ample time to grill me on my singlehood and to talk to me about our family history of colorectal cancers.

First, my grandmother asked about my boyfriend. I told her that we broke up in January. Then she asked me several questions about what he was doing with his life. Was he still in Michigan? How was his job going? (Keep in mind she didn't ask such extensive questions about my new job as a fundraising consultant or my life in Indianapolis.) She said that it must have been the distance that caused us to stop caring for one another. Actually, at the time that my ex dumped me, I still cared for him and was devastated by the break-up. What she meant to say was that it was my fault for taking advantage of great opportunities that took me away from my boyfriend. (Because having a man in my life is more important than going to grad school at Carnegie Mellon or doing a year of community service through Americorps*VISTA.)

Next came questions about whether I had my eyes on other boys. Again, almost no talk about my new job or what my life is like. This conversation concluded with some mumbling about how I was still young and lead into a different conversation about the various places one can get colon polyps.

The event concluded with my grandfather asking about my "fiance." My ex-boyfriend and I were never even close to getting married, and this was (and still is) a sore subject for me. When I told my grandfather that Matt and I broke up and were never engaged, he insisted that I was mistaken and that Matt and I were engaged. This conversation definitely had undertones of "how did you fail to get him to marry you" and "it must have been your fault because you were the one that moved." (Thanks, Grandpa! Enjoy your upcoming colonoscopy!!)

To be honest, the people that knew my ex and me as a couple are sad that I went through a painful break-up, but elated that he is no longer in my life. Yes, my friends are excessively happy that I'm moving on to better things. Wish my grandparents felt the same.